Feeling Self Conscious in Relationships

11/11/2014


From the age of fourteen I began wearing make up, not only wearing it but relying on it. I haven't left the house without at least wearing mascara in seven years. Even on holiday on the beach or at water parks I would still wear waterproof mascara and pray that it would stay in place. It doesn't help that I have very fair, blonde eyelashes framing my eyes as without mascara I look as if I haven't even got any! While make up can be fun and a personal choice, we should never have to rely on something so much to feel comfortable in front of others. 

Especially when it comes to relationships. In the beginning of a relationship it's very understandable. You want to look your most attractive, feel your most attractive, you want to make an impression. But as that relationship goes on and becomes more secure you won't always be going out on dates or be in situations where you need to dress up. You might spend the day in the house together, watch movies, take naps, go on holiday, etc, etc. Times where make up isn't required. You should not panic at the thought of your signifiant other seeing you without make up on. It isn't fair to put that pressure on yourself. You should feel comfortable in your most natural, raw state around yourself and those you love the most. Their love for you should be unconditional. You should not feel that way. It is not kind on yourself nor is it healthy. 

Your partner should be supportive, caring and frankly not bothered. If you do not feel comfortable enough to be relaxed about yourself, especially in long term relationships. That is not ok. When my boyfriend first saw me without make up I was so nervous and scared. What would he think? What would he say? I made it into much more of a big deal than it needed to be, that he teased me about it and pretended to be ever so shocked and sarcastically told me that I looked "So different!" until he laughed and told me with almost a sense of relief that I look far more beautiful without make up than I do with it. That he loves me for me, he loves the natural me more than whatever I choose or would ever chose to do it enhance it, including make up or any form of plastic surgery (if I was ever to go down that route). He explained that while make up aids girls in looking hot it is not what makes them beautiful. 

Now I don't even think twice about not wearing make up in front of him. I used to always feel that whoever was looking at me was judging how awful I looked, but with him it doesn't even cross my mind. He helps me to feel as beautiful as he sees me. Even in my rawest form. While I still need to work on being self confident going out in public without make up, I have really come along way. It is up to you to feel comfortable, but having support of those closest to you truly helps. Don't settle for anything less.  

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2 comments

  1. 'While make up aids girls in looking hot it is not what makes them beautiful.' Is such a lovely thing to say!

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    Replies
    1. He can be quite poetic when occasion calls! :P

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